Assertive behavior is related to defending oneself. This implies that we must first know our rights in order to be able to defend them given that we show respect for the rights of others.
Assertion of our rights means that we recognize our strengths and weaknesses, our needs, realise the consequences of our actions and at the same time accept and acknowledge the rights of others.
The most basic rights concerning our interpersonal relationships are:
1.Saying “no” without feeling guilty
2.Saying “I don’t know,” “I don’t understand,” “not interested” without feeling guilty
4.Making mistakes and undertake responsibility
5.Have your own opinion and feelings that you can express when it is necessary
6.Be able to choose who and when to help someone
7.Have private moments
8.Ask and bear in mind the likelihood of refusal
Assertive behavior should follow these steps:
1.Use arguments stating clearly what we ask for, what we need, how we feel
2.Use positive expressions that affect the other person positively
3.Avoid criticizing one’s personality. Just focus on his behavior
4.Avoid uncertainties and use concentrated speech
5.In case our opinion isn’t accepted we repeat our message calmly and negotiate if we have already decided what suits us.
Assertive behavior is a skill that helps us in managing our daily lives, in communicating better with others.