Death, dismissal, divorce can make us feel that we lose control of our lives. But they can lead to something good. In the long run one can benefit if he transforms the traumatic experience into a challenge. One can look at obstacles as opportunities to discover other parts of himself.
The First Reactions
In the beginning it is normal when panic prevails. It’s the shock when one situation turns abruptly to another.
We are unprepared when traumatic experiences show up. Then defense mechanisms are activated to protect us. One such mechanism is denial, the exclusion of the negative feelings that were caused by a negative event . It is a common reaction that should not last too long as it doesn’t help the person overcome the traumatic event. If you don’t accept the incident that ruined your life, you can’t be taught something.
… The Loss
Even the death of a loved one happens for a reason as his life cycle is completed. We have to accept it because it is part of our life. Our relationship with that person plays an important role as our role changes. If, for example, a woman loses her husband, she has to undertake new responsibilities. When someone experiences a loss he needs strong support from his family. He needs to express and share his grief or anger so that he moves on.
…. In Dismissal
Our job connects to our value as human beings. A dismissal, especially after many years of work is often experienced as a rejection of our value. If one is criticized by others for losing his job then he might feel more depressed and isolated. So it is important to focus on the causes of the dismissal, for example if it had to do with external factors or if it was our fault. Of course this doesn’t mean that one loses his value as a human being because he is not only a professional but also a father, a husband, a friend. He shouldn’t feel guilty but redefine his self image ,examine his mistakes, improve his skills and adjust to the new situation.
Adaptability teaches us to be happy with less and feel grateful for what we are focusing on real values.