Thoughts of friends

φορμα ΟΚΤ 2010My friend imitates me

Anna and me are best friends from primary school. As time passes it is obvious to me something that others had noticed long ago. She imitates me in everything. She listens to the same music, sees the same movies, wears the same clothes, has the same expressions with me … I feel like if she is trying to steal my life. What can I do?

Answer from a specialist

It is important that two friends share common values, accept and are honest with each other. It is necessary to ask yourself why she imitates you and to focus on her intentions. For example, does she imitate you because she admires you or because she is jealous of you? In both cases, your friend is trying to reap the benefits of your specific behaviors through imitation. In the first case her intentions are positive as she wants to improve herself. In the second case her intentions are negative as she wants others to pay attention to her than to you. In both cases, however, it appears that your friend doesn’t accept herself. So I would suggest that you discuss those issues with your friend if you wish to remain best friends.

Friends in distance

My best friend went abroad recently and she intends to stay there permanently. I know it’s for her own good and I want her to be happy, but I think that we will lose contact. This makes feel sad.

Answer from a specialist

The fact that your best friend moved abroad doesn’t mean that you will lose contact. It is understood that you would like to be together. Strong friendships transcend the boundaries of space. You can still communicate with your friend, share your thoughts and feelings, show mutual understanding except for the fact that this will be done via telephone, electronic media and even visiting each other whenever possible. So your friendship will remain if you try for it.

Few friends but good friends?

I’ve always been lonely and my friends were few. Lately I feel inferior when I see people with many friends and I wonder whether I should get to know more people. Will more friends make me feel better?

Answer from a specialist

The fact that you have few friends doesn’t mean that others who have more friends are happier. What you need to bear in mind isn’t the number of friends but the quality of your friendships. If your friends meet your emotional needs, then you should be grateful to have them. If your friends aren’t really close to you, then you should focus on your selection criteria and make friends with whom you can be yourself.

Colleagues and friends as well. Is it possible?

In general I avoid having close relationships with my colleagues as I want to distinguish my personal life from my professional life. Lately I met a colleague with whom I could be friend with. But I hesitate to do this. Am I right or am I going to lose a person that deserves to be in my life?

Answer from a specialist

Friendship with a colleague of yours doesn’t mean that you equate your personal life with your professional life. You would equate your personal with your professional life when you would transfer problems from your personal life to your professional life and vice versa. So I would suggest that you don’t stop communicating with your colleague, but set the boundaries between your professional and personal life.

Can I be friend with my ex-boyfriend?

Tasos was the love of my life and we were together for five years. We broke up 6 months ago and we had no contact until now that he called me to tell me that he wants to be my friend. I don’t know what to do even though I am not in love with him and so does he.

Answer from a specialist

First of all we must say that if you want to be friend with him you must first pay attention to your needs. At this time your ex-boyfriend wants to preserve your relationship in a friendly level. The question is what is that you want. Are you ready to accept it? Are you sure that you can be just friends and that he feels the same way as you do? It is important that you are both honest and ready to set limits to this new type of relationship. In this way you will avoid the risk of a sexual attraction between you in order to be just friends.

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